MAKE ME NASTY!!!!

Hello All,

I am back, God, seems like I have been saying that for ages but for real am back.Today i explore the topic of the freak in all of us, yes you know you is a freak!.

I am always eager, easily fooled and surprised by things. I tend to think i have seen it all until something epic occurs like the UCU sex tape. I was a nut on Whatsapp looking for the video and asking people about it, don't judge you were doing the same if you were in the know.

Anyway the sex tape was disappointing but i liked the enthusiasm of the director's yellings- make it nasty, this is the shit, bend her over. Heheheh am not immoral, okay maybe i am since i went hunting for a sex tape but you would be excited too if you found the whole arrangement to be a joke like me which some of my friends didn't, bringing me to the  gist of this post. Okay i plead the fifth and say I was curious.

All my friends who said "I didn't send it to you coz  i don't want to be party to tainting someone's image", "you need to get some because the things sucks and can't get you excited" and "we have all done this especially if you were in a hostel, can't believe your this surprised", YOU NEED TO MAKE ME NASTY.

Firstly how is it tainting someone's image when they are nude and giggling in a sextape? . Secondly i need to get some, you know this and your not assisting,is that not what friends are for?. Thirdly clearly we have not all done this and please lend me your many sex tapes so that i can familiarize myself with
what went on at campus minus my knowledge.

Yes, make me nasty but don't cast me for an upcoming sex tape you pervs that surround me. I am surrounded by pervs,one failed to get the tape coz he didn't want to look a vouyer but sent me a source and demanded a copy after. I don't know how that reflects on my character other than am a good resourceful friend LOL but judging from this rant am a perv too and judging from the rate at which the tape circulated and judging from the ingenuity/boredom of those University Students Kampala is a perv capital. We need some sort of parade obviously not one organised by the Executive Director.

Scenes from the perv parade we deserve.

CHEERS,
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO MAKE IT NASTY, BE IT  A LOOK, STANCE OR WALK....MAKE IT NASTY!

AM BACK!!!!

Hello People,

I finally got into my blog. Huh!. Am so excited. I missed you. Imagine i just logged into Gmail and voila there she was the creation of my dysfunctional brain. This morning my mum said i just get things without working for them and boy was she right. She is my number one muse. She loves me and annoys me all in one breathe but am thankful to have her *cue Judith Babirye is Mama*. It is a Saturday and I gotta go have some fun okay am lying I have to go to the market and clean house so later my loves.

XOXO

MARTYRDOM

No i didn't die am alive and well just been gone fishin' or in my unemployed status case job hunting yes am still unemployed but am consoled by the millions of youth allover the world, i mean the new Ugandan cabinet echoes my hardship-the minority(those old men who don't know twitter) are representing the majority(face booking and tweeting swagged out beings)but u know this is no political blog so back to martyrdom.
Martyrdom, the state of being a martyr. Martyr......wait whilst i Google...somebody who suffers persecution and death for refusing to renounce a belief or cause, usually religious. I proclaim upon myself the status of martyr, yes you had right am a martyr...am not about to wait to be dead and buried like Nyerere and then have my suffering recognized. I need to voice my sufferings/persecutions.
So apparently in those days, don't ask me which ones as you can guess from the above am young so yes those days people were persecuted and killed for bearing witness of the good news of Jesus Christ. I don't remember Nyerere being a Reverend or Pastor or Father(in the religious sense that is) so he is a martyr probably coz he suffered for witnessing the good news of socialism and other political things meaning that one can be a martyr without religious attachment, right? Sounds logical to me so yes I am a Martyr. Let the witnessing begin.
Being a female equals persecution of sorts....affirmative action cancelled that...really?...sure...damn.
Most definitely being African equals persecution yes we are still asked by our friends yonder seas if we live with elephants HELLO WE ARE NOT CHARACTERS IN JUNGLE BOOK... persecution is the systematic mistreatment of certain groups right, right so the G8 and all those organisations that discuss us(Africans) without us present are persecutors.
The Visa Consulate of.......... wait bad move i don't want to be black listed onto the next
Cupid....a tale for another time.
The bank and come to think of it the whole banking system is out to get me as a non-salary earner low figure banker...don't get me started.
Well am being persecuted left right and center hence declaration of a state of martyrdom. I am a martyr. Babylon system at play...only person not persecuting me is my weed man who supplied on credit to enable me blog this.
Cheers my fellow martyrs

I NEED ME A MAN SORRY SAVINGS ACCOUNT SORRY MAN ..AH..THAT ONE!

Hey people, been a while i know but went through a depression, then a marriage(hold up not mine my dear parents-details for when you call me for coffee) and lost a dear cousin almost like a sister. That explains my absences condolences can be sent by way of direct deposit to my bank account that you will get when leave your phone number with me.Onto business then.
I need me a man. You heard right i need me a man, okay am kidding(not because am in a relationship), who needs a man with technological advancements to pleasure women a.k.a dildos and gay male pals-a great package. What i need is a saving account.
Ladies you will agree that even the smartest of us lack that financial discipline-you just have to get those shoes, buy that icecream or deposit on that dress. For that major reason, i need a savings account and not the kind banks offer. I need me a man who is a big spender a.k.a Savings account.I have heard ladies say they got their own and more power to them but i like the ladies who got their own and some of his too. Where did all this madness come from, scroll on-its story time.
I recently went to visit a friend's sister. She lives alone in a nice apartment-which she pays for by herself and she works but she is planning to buy a house of her own soon, at age 25.How? Well she has a savings account, the real one with the bank and a SAVINGS ACCOUNT a.k.a a man. I observed her conversations on phone during the few times i visited. They went to the tune of honey, i have no rice, i have no sugar, my paycheck is late and they want to cut off my electricity, honey can you imagine the water went, baby i hate to bother you but Dstv.
Basically all her utility and food bills were taken care off by honey. I inquired how long she had been dating Honey and she said a year. Now i did economics but even if you can only grasp simple maths you can definitely make out that this girl is saving a whole load of cash money.
Where does her salary go to then apart from rent which am sure honey helps her out with once in while,well she does look impeccable and dress well and is buying a house soon.
Now that you know the story don't you agree that all ladies need a savings account by the way not spending translates to saving in economics so lets get on with the not spending at least not spending our own earnings. Men you will forgive me but the bible does say that man shall provideth.
Wine glass in hand) CHEERS TO ALL THE SAVING ACCOUNTS OUT THERE, WE LOVE YOU, OKAY I LOVE YOU

NO THANX TO THE BEYONCE EXTENSIONS

I am tired of my hair. Ladies you will testify that we all reach that point where you have weaved, braided, styled, cut, regrown, done the nappy natural thing and still end up being tired of your hair. I reached that stage last weekend but cutting was no option. Why? Well when you have prayed for your hair to grow like i have YOU DON'T CUT IT OFF sometimes even cutting off of the tips kills me though i know its beneficial. So yeah am at the salon i don't want to wash and set nor do i want to plait, we have established cutting was out of the question and with this heat i was definitely not doing the weaving. My stylist's solution...glue in extension...they allow your hair to grow, allow u to change your look temporarily and are user friendly. I am so impressed with her and in my mind i make a mental note to tip, then comes the choosing of the weave and obviously i can't do a short hair do coz of the cutting and her solution...Beyonce extensions. Remember when i made the mental note to tip..yeah how about cancelled. Let me tell you why :
One am Milan not Beyonce. I know i know very evident and trivial but the hair is already human hair so i know it came from some poor south american or Asian dead person. I can get over the fact that a dead person's hair is on my head because its not like the packet of hair has 'sensational hair maria theresa santos or Ai-ting .But i come to the salon for a change a different individual look and you whip out Beyonce style so that what? everyone can know i copied her hairstyle.Its not like you can compete with Beyonce am sure she has ruined many women's self esteems well except when it comes to Jay-z doubt anyone would want those lips well except Beyonce why well thats a topic for another day back to me(see the me aspect me me me my look not BE-YON-CE!)
Secondly glue in extensions are the most hectic hairstyle i have ever come across..spray this and don't do this and make an appointment for 2 weeks..its just like maintaining my real hair expect this time its longer and more time and money consuming. I came to the saloon coz i was tired and needed rest not something to make me more tired. I know what your thinking wrong place try the spa but come on you gotta see my point.
Thirdly it would be kind of ridiculous for me to walk around with beyonce extensions with my non glamorous life style..really it is like a priest having a mohawk, i would not trust them with my life let alone my soul.
Well after all the above swerving around in my head i got up from the consult told her i would be back and 4 days later am writing this. What am i doing with my hair...well i figured i would start my own style the milan look.. de-shoveled, straight out bed, run you fingers through your hair and if your really embarrassed a nice scarf wrap will do look.

CONSTITUTIONAL SQUARE CERTIFIED...NOT

I am not political...who am i lying to am a little political and i was very impressed by Northern Africans and Middle Easterners rising up to demand for change and have their demands meet. The wave of change is taking place through mass demonstrations in city squares. As with anything i consider admirable i ask myself can i do that, what if it were me and here goes my analysis on whether i can be that one among millions strongly standing risking limb and life for a change.
Before we go any further the gospel truth is that am a coward i can't. Now don't judge or write me off i would love to but its not in my nature. Thats right when all fails blame God or the devil..its not like someone is gonna put them on a stand to witness. I don't know who to blame for the fact that its not in my nature to strike..God or the Devil. But i will examine why am unable to act courageously and fearlessly.
COWARDS ARE US: HELLO MY NAME IS MILAN AND AM NON CONFRONTATIONAL
I can not for the love of me fight unless am seriously provoked and by seriously i mean my brother farting in my face. When arguments get heated i walk away. I can mouth off for days but if i see the other person is getting angry i will mouth of some more but once the earings come of and the fists are clenched and the Leilah Ali Stance is assumed am running as fast as my chicken knock kneed legs can carry me. Even under the influence of alcohol am sobered up by a fight be it verbal of physical somehow the signs of a fight ensuing flash the alcohol right out of my brain and alert my legs to...you know it..run or walk away.
CONCLUSCION
No am not ending my article but this is another reason am not constitutional square certified. I always draw concluscion even before events happen. I plan ahead of time and think of all possible happenings and their solutions. I will most definitely be the one discouraging my fellow strikers with facts and figures and reality checks of the army being equipped both in weaponry and manpower and how we are going to be annihilated and blown up to oblivion. My mind sees the end before the beginning and i would probably utter seemingly intelligent phrases like the end looks bloody, tugenda ffa in causal talks leading up to the strike.
SELF TALK
I am my worst enemy and best friend. I can gas myself up for anything as first as i can talk myself out of it. I am not a good candidate for suicide..that boy who blew himself up was brave. Had it been me, i would have designed the detonator with a defuse switch. I am more likely to swallow 2 or 3 valims but just before i am knocked out call emergency services and let them know i took an over dose and text my mom who i definitely know will overact that i took too many medicines. In the event of a strike i will arrive at the city square say hey and find my way home as first as i came.
BIG TALK NEVER EQUALED BIG ACTION
I am a writer, a talker, a wolokoso artist, a word-smith. I can create euphoria with my words but tell me to bring it to life...dear God! Ever wonder why great women and men's biographies are not written by themselves and if they are they are assisted? Well because they don't write or idealize about making things happens they make things happen. I can inspire thousands with my words of action but ask me to lead them hehehehehehehehe i will probably write something about finding the leader in thyself.
PROCRASTINATORS ARE US: HELLO AM MILAN AND AM A PROCRASTINATOR
I have the worst case of procrastination. Tomorrow is a day too and will always be their. I court later as if it were a lover and i think somewhere in my mind there lies a 25 hr clock. I would most definitely tell my follow strikers i will show up tomorrow, or convince them to push the strike forward...when kids are back from school, when the weather is better.

All these traits are defaults that make me uncertified for the constitutional square but never you mind because i got my words to strike for me...maybe i will pen a political satire..howz about that?

LAWD...LORD

Hi guys...been a while i know...blame it on graduation season. I have been having a swell time attending grads including mine which was well put in a local daily(to my shock and it did evoke prayers to the tune of God may the ground open n swallow up but not to end in hell maybe somewhere cool n chill in the earth is crust till this blows over).As an attendee of the grads and having qualified with a development economics degree put ma knowledge to work...i developed myself-lose dresses with food allowance space so as to consume as much food and drink as possible...i economized-i bought a dozen of(well some graduands maybe reading this so i won't say) but if u read this and find u have the same something as someone and you got it as a grad gift well....to quote shaggy "It wasn't me." Hehehehe now onto the Title topic why am i dramatically calling Lawd Lord,Okay perversion aside people.
Ever had those moments in life where you feel you are on auto pilot like you are going through the motions of things and not actually 'living'. Well i realized this when i posted events of my very personal life on Facebook without thinking and actually without feeling anything about it. It was only after looking at the event in retrospect that i was like W.T.F. I love routine it makes life a whole lot easier that routine but not when the routine manages you instead of you managing it. So why am i yelling Lawd , well i need a change...i need to stop this addiction to social media-except my blog of course that is so therapeutic-my parents are lucky coz they have a kid bright enough to blog instead of going to the coo koo fixer for obscene amounts(Lawd-why charge alot just to be a silent gossip, heck guys u can pour out to me for free but there is no client-listener privileged and no material is unworthy of a good rumor mill). I no longer dream of tea with Conddy Rice or being a fortune 500 magazine or even watch Tv(my first love/addiction) all i dream about is trending topics, status updates, pokes and inboxes. I quit the online chat but can't seem to find the inner strength to quit/lessen social media addiction hence the yell..yes its a yell.....LAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDD......LOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDD Jesus take the
wheel.