SCARED.

So by now you have probably had about the bomb blasts and those of you that live in Uganda or Kampala already kicked into cautious mood and have had part of your social lives taken away. Anyway i heard the bomb blast but it only became reality when i saw the footage on the news and i was genuinely scared. You see these things on T.V in far off countries and never think thay will happen in your country to fellow citizens or friends or family..luckily i never lost anyone but my condolences to those who did. Terrorism wasn't just in a box on my tv or in the newspaper or on the net but on ma doorstep..i was scared and still am.
Then i thought of all the things that scared me that were insignificant...the fear of failure, the fact that i was scared to seriously talk to my parents about moving out, my fear of commitment, and the latest and worst fear that i had very little instinct of a mother, THIS WAS THE WORST. A girl grows into a woman and those motherly hormones kick in but recently i encountered a lady at a shop who asked me if i was buying glucose for my baby, to say i was appalled was an understatement i answered no with a blank look on my face and thought why the heck would i have a baby...i like children and try to tolerate them and think they are pure blah blah blah but why was i appalled that someone would see me as a mother? Am still trying to understand this but in light of the twin bombs it seems so insignificant.
Did this event give me courage to overcome some of my fears because i was confronted with a much bigger fear? The answer no! but it did give me a greater understanding of how life is precious and how the people in our lives should be appreciated on daily basis and it concretized my belief in the Almighty God.

I WANT LOVE N PASSION.

So today i spent the day engrossed in the life of Che Guevara and later stumbled upon the romance of Princess Diana and Dodi-Al Fayhed on TV, and i realized my life lacks love, it lacks passion. Granted a revolutionary and a forbidden love are not a normal comparison but am not a normal girl and i see things in a 'not normal way', i found that all these people had love and passion and that's what made them great and what drove them. Sure Che's love and passions were different from Princess Di and Dodi's but they were all driven by that strong uncontrollabe desire, an overwhelming feeling that consumed them and became them. I want that i want love and passion not just in the romantic sense(oooh passion in the romantic sense would be soooooo Gooooood) but in everything i do..passion for living, love my work(when i find some). I see it in this sense, there are millions upon trillions of stars in the sky but we can only see the shiniest ones and its ma thinking that those that we do see are filled with with a burning brightness, a burning that i equate to passion and love. All the people i based my passion and love desire are dead but their lives are prominent and profound...even in death they were glorious. Well i may never be a princess or have an affair with an eygptian turned UK citizen's tycoon son or be a revolutionary but in all i do and in the life i live i want to have passion and love. Even if its recognized by no one at least i will know and as they say what you know and know to be true can't be taken from you.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TITLE THIS.

So i have been gone for a while story of my life...I have a genetic chronic illness..Sickle Cell Anemia..yes people am dying and on Monday i almost came close but thanx to medical intervention and the big man up there am here. Now don't fell sorry for me i've done more with ma life than many normal people and i may outlive many of them as i have before but thanx for the empathy. Now that all the confessions and tears are out of the way i would like to give a big shout out to my first comment...Kiregasword...watsup and interestingly enough their blog is about economics and development in Africa something of interest to me(clap clap). Okay july is here and am finally getting off my A** my guy friends have been on my hind side telling me to get active now i think this is just them caring but my gal L thinks they wanna hookup with me but like guys now days they want a girl who is non dependent either way i appreciate the push coz sometimes you just need a little nudge to start the journey of your life. Well Ghana disappointed by not making it and immediately Africans turned against A.Gyan n the Ghana team n this made me think how unappreciative people can be....this man played remarkably to get Ghana to the quarters and yes he missed the penalty but if u had the weight of 6 million plus people on your shoulders and had just played for 120minutes and had nerves for ages would you have done better? Well i love Ghana they have set a great example and challenge for other African Teams and A.Gyan is a hero. Well what else do i have too say....alot but you'll just have to wait for it on the next post. Cheers